you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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