Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
