girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
