I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
