Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize