We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.