this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
