yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
