I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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