sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
