My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
