I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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