Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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