Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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