My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wear drunk well.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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