I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
well you can't waste a boner
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
