Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
