he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
