Your tits are I can't wait for
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
