omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
