literally had 100 drinks last night.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
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It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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