Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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