I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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