oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
