I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
