i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
