I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
