with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
