Apparently you make a good broom.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
