Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize