So drunk its hurt
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
