So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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