I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
