Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
