My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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