Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
