So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
