Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
