Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
