do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
