bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
