we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
