You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
