plz talk dirty to me
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
