you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Randomize
