nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
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She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
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I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina