laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.