Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.