you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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