i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
