he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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