Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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