This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers