she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
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Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him