I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad