BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
