I hate your face
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dignity is for republicans.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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