She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
