I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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