you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
